Can't you let me breathe?

I am seventeen years old.
I am closer to adulthood than childhood. I should be able to make my own decisions.
And yet I can't.
I'll be going to University in a year, I have to decide what to do with my life. I should be responsible and I should be able to manage a freaking agenda.
And yet I can't. There's someone (not gonna mention who, but it's pretty clear) that's always breathing on my neck. Someone that's always reminding me to do things that I KNOW I should be doing. Someone who tries to control my life because they think I'm not able to. But if they fucking gave me a chance! It's no surprise that I can't be responsible. No one gives me the chance. They just assume I can't.
Someone is always there telling me what to do and I have no. space. to think, to make my own decisions. And it's so tiring.
It's like trying to move but being stuck in a box. You can't breathe, and you just want to stand up and start running but YOU. CAN'T.
It feels awful. I've always had this thing, when I couldn't move I'd hyper-ventilate. Like, if I was at the beach, in the water, and someone grabbed me from behind or something and put their arms around me, and I couldn't move, I'd hyperventilate. I'd start to get anxious and stuff. Nothing serious, of course, but it was still stressing. I usually say I'm 'claustrophoic', even though I don't think I actually am and I don't want to disrepect in any way those who really suffer from that, but I think it's the word that best fits me.
Having walls around me, not being able to move.. it's what terrifies me the most. Even when I was little, my greatest fear was being stuck in an elevator, because I had no possibility to get out.
I was stuck.
So yeah. I just wish, hope, pray, WANT more space. for me, for my thoughts, to fucking get a grip on my life and decide for myself. I want to grow up, and be responsible, and independent.
Will I be able to do that?

Pissed

I am pissed.
I generally don't write things this bluntly, I just kind of circle the main point but never actually say it out loud.
I'm making an exception now, though. I won't tell you the reason.
I'm just going to say that one cannot keep being used and kid around like you're worth nothing.
People can't just keep treating you like you're trash because they know you'll always be there anyway. It doesn't work like that. Nuh uh. You can be as nice and cute as you want, but at some point you just need so say 'stop.'
Stop with the bullshit, stop with this behavior, stop with YOU.
You're sick and tired of being treated like that. Maybe people don't deserve you. And you're the one who gets hurt because you always care so much about people, maybe more than they do about you. And even when things change you can't and won't and don't want to stop caring about them, because it makes you feel good and it is good.
But it's time to put a fucking stop to that.
It's time.
Walk alone, if you have to, but don't fucking let others treat you like your worth no one's attention. Because you are. You fucking are.
Don't forget that.
If people don't deserve you, all the better. One less person to care about, free place for one more. One that really deserves you.
Even if you're wrong, they're wrong, too. That's not how you behave. You talk. You don't ignore.

I understand that none of you is really getting what I'm saying, and I'm sorry about that. I just needed to vent my anger on someone or something and so yeah, here's my pissed post. ;)