What color is your world?

How fucking much can it hurt, when you think you have something and then you realized you don't?
When you're so sure everything is inside your hands, but when you open them you find out they're empty?
They tell you never to consider something yours, when it isn't. Never to cage things that weren't yours in the first place.
But what if they were? What if they were one of the few possessions you had, and then someone came out of the blue and tore them out of you?
No warning, no excuse. They just took, and took, and took more until there was nothing left to steal.

What do you do to that? How are you supposed to react?
Are you supposed to be superior, and not care at all about what was taken from you, or should you react? Should you try to get them back?
Should you realize they weren't so important anymore, or should you be, not angry, but rather disappointed, in how they were stolen?
Who said disappointment is none other than "the feeling you get when someone doesn't do for you what you would do for that person anytime", was dead-right. It's just that people expect too much. Some people are too good to be bad. They see the world in bright colors, and they expect others to be like them. They can't conceive how would anyone else see it differently. Well they do.
There are colors, and my world is one color, and yours is another one.
Then there's those people who see their world so bright, but then they hit dead-straight in darkness, and they decide to paint their world black or someone else splashes black paint on it for them.
And then it's done.
How do you come back from that?
But I guess I'm babbling, and I'm the only one who's really getting what I'm aiming at.
Conclusion of this post is that I'm pissed, but actually I'm just disappointed, and yeah. People suck. Big time. But not always.

Losing a friend

Have you ever lost a friend?
One that you really really cared about?
And you didn't want to lose them, yet you couldn't help it.
That's kind of what's happening to me, and it hurts more than it seems.
I made my mistakes in the past. I won't deny that. But I'm not the only one.
You know, there are the people you kind of notice, but whenever they do something that pisses you off you just go flip them off.
And then there's those people you care about so much that when they make a mistake you're not angry at them, you try to help them. You love them so much that a mistake made by them is not something to push you away from them, but closer.
This is the way I've always felt towards this friend of mine. Sure, she pisses me off big time and most of the time I can't stand her. She's Aries and I'm Leo, so no surprise there.
But all this time yeah, I kept getting pissed off a lot, but I cared about her a lot anyway.
Well, apparently I was the only one feeling that way. Apparently she saw me as "just another friend", because as soon as we had a fight she didn't waste time cutting me out of her life.
If it wasn't that I'm not a lesbian and we're just friends, I guess I'd dedicate to her the song "Somebody that I used to know", by Gotye ft. Kimbra. Me being Gotye, duh.

The thing that hurts so bad is that apparently I'm the only one who wants to save the relationship. I keep texting her from time to time, but she doesn't. And when she replies it's so cold.
Right now she just sent me a message where she asks me why I keep writing to her since I don't even say hi anymore and all that sort of stuff.
I do say hi. I told her so. In a moment of complete sentimentality, I even told her I really care about our friendship and I didn't want to lose it. And guess what? She didn't even reply to that.
I feel kinda loser-ish writing all this in a blog no one ever reads except for me when I check my grammar mistakes, but still. I felt the need to tell all this to "someone" and I'm not really the type of person to go out and tell people how I feel. That's just not me.

So yeah, have you ever been in a situation like this? Or kinda like this?
I know I'm a bitch, but I think I'm a caring bitch.


Right?